I made my Powerball picks, although I have no intention of actually buying a ticket. Adam said he’d run out and buy a ticket with my numbers, but didn’t have any cash, so I told him I had a few dollars in my wallet.
Me: I’ll even split my winnings with you.
Him: I think you have to. We’re married.
Me: Hm, well.
Him: If you win, would you dump me and find someone hotter than me?
Me: No. He probably wouldn’t do the dishes.
Him: You could pay someone to do the dishes.
Me: Oh yeah!
Him: You would not be very good at being a lottery winner.